Sunday, October 4, 2020

Decidedly Grateful

Sooooo its been a bit :) lol 

ALOOOOT Has Happened :) 

I've Graduated With My Chemistry Emphasis Biochemistry Degree with a equivalency minor in Biology GO HUSKIES 🐕 , I worked for A Multinational Bio Pharmaceutical Company and Learned So Much from My Peers,  I've Been Hired on in my First Professional Job Beyond Contract work At a Medical Patient Sample Processing Agency and been successfully celebrated for my work ethic and Ive been Diagnosed with and am currently receiving treatment for Cancer, which although is an extreme find but also a great thing because it could have gone unnoticed until it would be too late.

How I have been managing my time: 

Ive been Working on stabilizing and developing My Tarot Consulting Buisness

Ive been Resting and Restoring

Ive Been Playing Console Games 

Ive Been Speaking to and Giving Spontaneous Readings To both the Administration & Patients Ive Met in the Chemo Treatment Room.

Im Working Toward Getting My Reiki Mastership with my Reiki Master that I received Reiki Levels 1, 2, and 3 Well Over 10 years ago.

Ive been in treatment since July 1st and Im still Here :D 


How Ive been Managing My Fears:

Getting Massages via an Electric Massager

Meditating Using the loving Kindness Meditations 

here's my fave: https://youtu.be/ztpPXqea3k0

Listening to music Heres my Spotify Link to my PLAYLIST  : spotify:playlist:42sy7Gs8MfjshFwaAderv1

Baking Cakes When I have energy

Overeating, but in my case that's recommended. 

Giving My Medical Situation a funny nickname : Cancie LOL

and taking the Pain Days day by day :) 



And that's about all the energy I have to give you lovely folks an update <3 

talk to y'all soon and Happy 2020 Honey


Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Hello there disappointment, my old friend lol:)

hello, where have I been living life! What have I been up to? Um ...living Life !

Today I spent the evening and most of the morning cleaning up my room and getting rid of stuff ( it's a project". Writing about, baking a bit, washing a bit, and watching avatar the last airbender! For a kids series there is so much great wisdom in it.

Okay now mediations :) I'm taking my sweet time in a program through daily om  :) it feels awesome , check them out :).

Today I learned about the saponification process and that soap is actually a salt by product and glycerine is a result as well :) ( also fish are friends not food )

I may take up soap making as a hobby soon, summertime would be perfect for that and apply myself in some other new way, with a calendar.

Yoga was short but fun and I thinking about "advanced" organic synthesis currently.

I've been listening to a new album every two weeks ( great jams ) and attempting mallows highest need in between of satisfying the others , self actualization.

Maslow hierarchy really should be a web diagram encased in a circle with lines connecting each need because well life happens from time to time but whatever .

Currently life is Good and I couldn't be happier....or could I? Surprise me universe with the happy , I'm Ready baby Jane !

Also this piece is written in memorium of Harambe <3 RIP


Beat poetry time!

Yo yo yo yo yo
Here I go
Try to flow
Like katara
Water benda
Don't offend ah
She'll whip you with some water so slenda
Put ya on the mend yeah

Shes not mean tho
She's a cool bro
She's a chick but a bro if you know then you know yo!
Travelin ain't a game son
It's a way mon
For her bro and the avatar to win the war without a gun hun
Book 1 is where their at
Moving the the tribes on the back
Of a bi son
Named Appa not tyson
They're not slicin
They're just glidin through the skies
Like some flies
Till they get to their ultimate prize
Which is world unification
Of the four nations
It's the fate of the avatars station
What awaits these players who ain't hatin
Tune in next time same time same station


:3


Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Opus #89

So i was doing my vipassana meditation and i could feel the energy density within and around my body and in my skull. there were a couple of instances of pain. the meditation was successful. i felt that as i did it 2 issues that the energy was connected to flowed a little bit better.

i may call starbucks and ask for my leave of absence to be released and work there again.

I'm not really into sharing right now but i did write some poetry.

i think i shall take up dancing again, ballroom this time.

-------------------------------------------------

What grace befals me
should i choose to walk again
awareness of my security winds round me like a warmed blanket
I am Blessed by the creatures in this world who recognize my soul
and they are blessed by my staying in it.

--------------------------------------------------

I can Understand
the fear
of sharing your inner dimensions
your world
with another
and the tentative tour of eggshells
as you introduce them to parts more intimate than your sex
all these hidden islands
with ecosystems variant and wild
lush vegetation and barren deserts
the hidden intimacies of two fearful hearts
and the sighs released from perfectly matched pairs of parted lips
when gained
the sweet dew of trust renewed when faithfully unbroken.

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

UHHHHHH Stardate9/6/2016 Planet earth Milky way galaxy

Family is funny,

The traits most members get mad at the others they posess themsleves...my dad like is literally my younger brother and vice versa, both incredibly gifted and challenged at the same time, stubborn idealistic and desperately in need of female affection and non of these things are bad tings.

the only point of contention i feel is when you have two people ho are exactly a;like biutting heads, they are so similar they can seem to get along, because they are both VERY Male:) its kinda funny being on the outside and inside sometimes LOL :)

Anyway Magical updates,

Self improvement updates:
        I am feeling like more people are reaching out to me as signifier that my personal healing is at an okay enough place ( i don't really have a way to mark my own self improvement i just keep going, no real mile markers )

I fell asleep after receiving a remote healing on youtube, it was something else but i guess i needed it. who knows if it was helpful or not but keep going I guess.

9/7/2016

I woke up a couple of times so interrupted sleep and when I finally got up around 7:50 am I moved through the grogginess to do my morning microcosmic orbit meditation,

It was much easier to keep in mind the words and feeling Love and Peace as I Listened to Deva Premal's version of the Heart Sutra. I didn't realize it was the heart sutra as I listened to it, I just know what i felt. when i did listen i thought it was the healing buddha mantra "Teyata Bekanze Bekanze Maha Bekanze Bekanze Radza Samut Gate Soha" which is supposed to heal the healers.

As I performed the operation I mad sure to move the energy in the orbit as manta I chia states in his book universal Tao using my right hand to push and left hand to pull the energy starting at the navel. I really did feel the energy and although my feet energy channels weren't directly activated both of my feet were warm. Very warm.

I was able to do the circuit twice, Once I finished the orbit I collected the energy 2 inches behind and below the navel. As stated previously the reason for this is to collect the energy from the organs to not allow an over abundance of energy in the organs. 

As I performed the second circulation, I was listening to deva premals myo renge mantra which made rotating the energy counterclockwise in my navel difficult. 

When I began collecting the energy it became more dense and harder to concentrate and do so with each clockwise rotation.  

Once I finished I just basked and reflected and began my morning prayers.

I realize that back in my grandpappys day  there wasn't Internet or vidya games or even a mass availiblity of pleasures we have at our fingertips from technology's advancement. The main thing people had to focus on for fun was their own advancement and growth . 

Now I realize while writing this this is just a romantic view of the past, another example of worthless nostalgia because to be honest, they lived short British lives with no time for self improvement . 

But anyway using that romantic notion with the huge amount of time we have now, I can say that I hope to enjoy my pleasures but just to a lesser degree and focus most on my self improvement as always. 

I may limit more YouTube, television, maybe music if it's too distracting so that I can re learn to purely focus on a task . Such as reading, reiki, crystal grids, spirit evocation, yoga, weight lifting, clean eating, organized and clean environment as well as a slew of other life goals for my betterment and happiness. 

Tonight I plan to perform the vi passant meditation for an hour. Wish us luck !

~Big Sun 

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

New friends old friends

So I've just finished reconnecting with old friends, and my impressions of the evening are that they really appreciate my presence and insight, and also that they are judging themselves based on me. 

I experienced many close friends trying to impress me with conversation that had no pause, a never ending run on string of words one after the other. Other friends simply closed up and kept as to themselves as they could.

What I'm noticing that they are failing to realize is that they are judging themselves and it isn't beneficial to themselves . I don't know what's best for anyone I'm just doing what I can to navigate the best I can .

And I really have no idea what I'm doing and that's okay.

I over shared what was happening in my life, I don't regret it I just don't feel like what I released into our collective group mind will have a positive or negative effect it will just be a waste of information for them.

One thing to note is that they're were many experiences with all of them where we completed each other's sentences and where I was predicting what they would say, many " taking the words out of my mouth experiences " so that's a huge plus :) .

Overall good way to spend my time . Goodnight ;3 

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Good morning

So here is what's been in my head space .

I have just been really focused on killing the old self I've been to allow the person I want to be to be now.

I've been focused on curbing my aggression and practicing tonglen (metta ) mediation to help with my compassion for myself. Just very focused on me and consistent .

I've been using a muscle massager for tow days consistently, my shoulder is SORE but I'm trying to massage away a knot that I've had for years. 

According to uncle Google, the know is condensed dehydrated muscle fibers that after repeated misuse have potentially scarred together.... OH WELL! 

I'm going to keep massaging until full mobility returns :3

Bye <3 Jana 

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Microcosmic Orbit 2

Hey just performed my new program of the microcosmic orbit weekly.

I finished a 12-15 hour shift and as i was doing the meditation felt the energy pool up at my feet and left ear.

I also focused on the pleasure of just breathing slowly and allowed that to bring a smile to my face.

I Also feel the energy pooling at my anahata located in my back .

I did all this while listening to this "spotify:track:1KTHYUdZYz3DRxkSGg4ZBm"

Having activities, Focusing on a Peaceful wave that emanates from me with the idea of building my ship before a storm helps :)


My prayers for my family have been successful, they are happier and healthier and we all came together this weekend for a moment but it was enough and we all supported one another with our presence. I was even able to give hugs to everyone :)

i think i will do a 2-3 min mediation to focus the energy back to my navel just to be sure the energy is not in overabundance in my organs and is in the right place

Peace.

Saturday, August 27, 2016

Nothing Phenomenal

Hey there avid readership!

like the title says, nothing phenomenal happened over the course of two days

Except this ;)

    Earlier yesterday afternoon i had stayed over a friends fir some R & R.  in the morning birds were chirping, babies were cooing and she was giving me an energy healing.

my late mothers name was popping up and as she gave the healing i felt my mother come through and it almost caused spontaneous tears to come forth from me, if i didn't hold them back.

it was intense, intense enough for me to have to write about it so i can remember but yeah.

uneventful to y'all but everything to me

Peace 

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Candle Blessings

Okay so here is a blessing i tried on a candle for the home and it worked !!! :D Happy Wife happy life eh :)

Personally I stopped at the ejector of satan part and modified it for what I wanted removed from my life. ;P . I also used florida water and no incense.

This is from the book/ manual " The Protestant Keepsake"

"According to the " Poesy of Prayers, or the Key of Heaven," a mass was instituted, called Candlemas, because mass is said this day. The Church blesses her candles for the whole year, and makes a procession, with hallowed or blessed candles in the hands of the faithful. The following prayer, from one of the Catholic Service books, will show the nature of the service : — " Oh, Lord Jesus Christy that enlighteneth everyone that cometh into the world, pour out thy benediction upon these can dles, and sanctify them with the light of thy grace." Another begins — " Holy Lord, Father Almighty, Everlasting God, who has created all things of nothing, and by the labour of bees caused this liquor to come to the perfection of a wax-candle, we humbly beseech thee, that by the invocation of thy most holy name, and by the intercession of the blessed Virgin whose festivals are this day celebrated, and by the prayers of all thy saints, thou wouldst vouchsafe to bless and sanctify these candles." Then, direction is given to sprinkle the candles thrice with holy water, saying, "Sprinkle me with ." He then perfumes them thrice with incense. Another prayer begins thus : — " Oh, Lord Jesus Christ, bless this creature of wax to us thy suppliants, and infuse into it, by the virtue of the holy cross, the heavenly benediction, that what-

-soever place it shall be lighted in, that the devil may depart, and tremble, and fly away with all his monsters from these habita tions, and not presume any more to disturb them." There is also this benediction : — " I bless thee, oh, wax ! in the name of the blessed Trinity, that thou mayst be in every place the ejector of Satan, and subversive of all his companions."   During the time these prayers are being said by the priest, va rious genuflections, bowings, and crossings, are made by the chief priest officiating. Then the candles are distributed, with great ceremony, from the altar. Every priest present receives a candle

on his knees ; the candles are then severally kissed, as is also the hand of the priest who delivers it. While the candles are being distributed, a hymn is sung — " A Light to Lighten the Gentiles." In Catholic countries, the people join the priests in their public processions to the churches, every person bearing a burning candle. The golden legend states, " That a lady, who had given her mantle to a poor man, for the love of our Lady, would not go to church on Candlemas Day, but went into her own private chapel, and, kneeling before the altar, fell asleep, and had a miraculous vision, wherein she saw herself at church. Into this visionary church she imagined that a troop of virgins came, with a noble virgin at their head, crowned right preciously, and seated them selves in order ; then a troop of young men, who seated themselves in like order ; then one, with a proper number of candles, gave to each a candle, and to the lady herself he gave a candle of wax. Then came St. Laurence as a deacon, and St. Vincent as a sub- deacon, and Jesus Christ as a priest, and two angels bearing candles ; then the two angels began the advent of the mass, and the virgins sang the mass ; then the virgins went, and each offered the candle to the priest, and the priest waited for the lady to offer her candle ; then the glorious Queen of Virgins sent to her to say, that she was not courteous to make the priest tarry so long for her, and the lady answered, that the priest might go on with the mass, for she should keep her candle herself, and not offer it ; and the Virgin sent a second time, and the lady said she should not offer the candle. Then the Queen of Virgins said to the mes senger, ' Pray her to offer the candle ; and if she will not, take it from her by force.' Still she would not offer the candle, and, therefore, the messenger seized it ; and the lady held so fast and long, and the messenger drew and pulled so hard, that the candle broke, and the lady kept half. Then the lady awoke, and found the piece of candle in her hand, when she marvelled, and returned thanks to the glorious Virgin, who had not suffered her to be without a mass on Candlemas Day ; and all her life kept the piece of candle for a relic, and all they that were touched there with were healed of their maladies and sickness."

Define Yourself or People will Do it For You

Books I'm currently reading: The protestant keepsake, Weaveworld, a collection of essays by Aaron leicht.

Music i'm currently listening to: Sledgehammer-Rihanna, Team-iggy Azalea, Kerli's 4 new songs-Blossom & Diamond Hard, Latest Albums by Emika- "Forever Never", Heavenly Beat- "Talent", Frank Ocean- Blonde, Kanye West - the life of pablo and other current pop culture Icons

Can't wait for: Winter (no shoveling Snow for meeee) and fall (Ghosts and witches :) ) and in that order. Then spring in ireland (faeries and dryads) and short summers ( dragons) writing wherever I am.

Things you may not know about me: I'm an ordained priest, I have no official God i pray to, I have no idea what i'm doing, I Like Coffee, I wasn't Always a pure positive person or a talker, most of the time its intentional and takes work.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULqdjtDI-bs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZy5dQH0xZs

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Curse Removals

So curses and other forms of malefica are real, and spiritual cleansing as Draja michareck states is something the spiritual community often neglects.

So today, I decided to remove any and all forms of malefica I have ever sent to my father ( moms passed to the other realms so i think shes Good :) )

You know when you're a teenager and SO mad at dad and mom cause they didn't get you that shiny new  season pass you wanted. and you beam hate at them for like ever???

well as a magician and spiritual practitioner, Because you practice and have more Authority in the spiritual world your mood and emotions can and sometimes will kill or worse, But I'm pretty sure we don't want that for our loved ones right???

So if you ever find yourself in a space where you are upset with a loved one or anyone just for existing and assuming their rights as an individual and want to make up for that evil eye you sent out there way you can try this method my Ancestors and I have conjured up.

You need a lime, two hands and sincere prayer .

I prayed to whatever God Im currently listening to at the time and sincerely asked for assistance in removing Decades of misunderstanding and harm sent his way, and as I prayed i rolled a lime between the palms of my hands up and down in prayer.

As I Prayed the oddest thing happened, i saw his mother with grey hair getting older, and heard my mother calling me by my nickname. then as i continued my prayers i stated that i wanted my father to have joy in his life from this moment and every other and to be happy now and forever.

 It was at this phase of the prayer that i began to him him state my nickname spiritually, he kept calling out my name as a way to get my attention but i did not stop until i knew that it was done and that there was a strength and authority in my fathers spiritual voice. and then i saw needles enter the lime and I figure I'm done for now.

I will wait for the results 8/23/2016

UPDATEEEE :

Results from the Lime ritual
     My father had more energy and was working out, he cleaned and washed the puppies and definatly had a bit more pep in his step, results were within two days :) Imagine what could happen if he gave me perission and activly participated ;) ehhhhhhhh :D well Back to da Sweet Life of being a celeb :3 #CuriousCat

Saturday, August 20, 2016

I Wonder

For many men in my area, they have the added advantage of being bisexual.

I say advantage because they have all the benefits of passing as straight and then when it is time to be in any form of a relationship with a person of the same gender, in my extensive experience they have secret relationships with members or a member of a discourse community of their preference who has low self esteem and consequently low standards .

This in effect usually causes the bisexual man to take advantage of the situation and not treat his partner like a partner but as a secret lover, setting the stage for a lifetime of emotional mistreatment and abuse to the other partner.

My issue is not with men or women who are bisexual, my issue is with men and women who take advantage of other people in relationships, specifically culturally considered "non-traditional" relationships or straight.

from what i've seen the cultural standard in the community in this area is to not be who you are and when the opportunity comes to find a partner to not treat them like a partner but like a sexual plaything, which although in some cases may appeal to me, does not fit my current personal standard.

Sex is sex and meant to feel good and all that wonderful jazz, but the politics and social standing tied in with how it is practiced personally doesn't sit well with me.

I have never been comfortable with being subservient to anything, i am happy to be friend, or co worker or even teammate but to be treated less than, in any fashion really grinds my gears. So i find when in the face of these situations i'm at a loss. I of course want to engage sexually with who i'm attracted to, but i am extremely unwilling to practice the art of becoming and through repeated practice believing myself to be less.

I wonder if other members of the world have experienced this and how they overcame it, even when friends and loved ones practiced the behavior.

I wonder.

Friday, July 29, 2016

Holy Fire :)

Okay here's the skinny
helped a fellow otherworldly being
channeled a meditation for that being
a holy fire meditation where the fire without color comes out of the arc of the covenant and clears any beings that are not holy and perfect for you ( thoughtforms implants suggestions all that )
it is replaced with the lifeforce of god for as  long as you allow it in.

i tried it it was darling, now a fellow will be trying it and let me know how that affects their state.

k gotta go live, life if for the living Peace 

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Tree talking

So I was talking to the tree I view outside my window after a dream I had where every mammal on the planet became plants due to some rouge plant conciossness .

At first it felt threatening but eventually all life was in symbiosis in this world creatinine loving mantras out of vines on their backs that said, be love,

I am happy, joy. 

They were human plant dinosaur hybrids it was cool. They were far as well. I viewed the planet from space and all was green :) .

But back to the convo.

I spoke to the tree and recognized it as some of the first physical empaths.

They take in energy of the surroundings and convert it, but beyond that they really do take in the energy of the environment and ground it literally.

And I thought on myself. 

That's what's been happening with myself and the people I currently live with.

One of my roommates lost a family member and I woke up earlier remembering someone I lost.

I have discovered through this my boundaries aren't solid enough of a persons emotional state is being transferred to me .

I need better techniques besides gold shields and violet flame . 


Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Crystal Avatar Human Grids :3

hmmm so heres something interesting : allowing people you are in contact with to act as crystal grids. although its the same as having a coven and sharing energy, it works atleast on a more subtle and intention basis versus actively moving and circling energy. it works via the inherent characteristics of the individuals present and what qualities you would like expressed as a whole. more like a group thoughtform with its primary basis being the love each member of the group has for the other.

The premise is that if the person you know and love were to be equated with a crystal, what qualities would they express, what colors, what tempo would they have and how would they all work together to create something greater than they are and do so willingly.



The initiator, or intention setter (you) act as the Main crystal in your crystal grid, allowing the group's energies to flow together until they all do so willingly.



As an addendum, you aren't supposed to force it, just support it. Also you aren't supposed to be the energy bridge indefinitely, the members of your crystal grid will support each other too..

you act as a channel.

and there it is be well :)!!

Look for my facebook page for weekly readings https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1664162357155188&fref=ts !!! Develop Love and Grow Gratitude
,and Take care!

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Guides

So after my daily prayer 
I got home
And  while washing dishes I saw
Falcoln 
Dragonfly
Spider and Ant


Dude falcoln just stayed and watched me for a bit like a good 5 minutes and even then didn't wander off far after!!! Suhweet!!!! 

I did the archangel micheal protection exerciser by doreen virtue only since I'm an acolyte of archangel micheal I said " I" in stead of asking micheal for assistance. 

And I prayed with gen and I did the meet your guardian angels exercize . 

It's dope!

My guides are totes here with meeee yay!!! 

And great news !!! I have my rent moneyyy!!!! And money for my storage unit !!! Yessss!!! :) yay! 

Now I just gotta hurry up and clean and maybe even have enough time and stamina to head in to work ! >:) yes!! 

:) :$ :) :$ Thanks Creator!!:) Thanks Guides!! Thanks Ancestors !!

And full moon tonight so I need to set my intentions and do the rememberance prayer ! :) 

Channeling love

Choose to channel love on a regular basis from higher self. 

It doesn't matter which person, which place. It is simply a choice.

It doesn't matter who the person is, it doesn't matter. 
The love is there. 

Honestly , there are no requirements to be deeply in love with another person.

And I need to forgive myself for hurting others and believe that the message of love is more important than the temporary hurt I caused.

It doesn't matter who I choose to love but the reality is that I have chosen to love, to be love. To stay in love and joy all the time. 

I think this answers my previous question .


Hey I think this is my first post but I'm curious. why do we have karma , it is my belief that we are all aspects of source/creator energy. Why do we have "learning" or clearing aspects with our souls. Especially with past and present lives. I have been really stuck on collective energy and our oneness as beings. I just am having a time grasping karma vs oneness. 

Like why are karmic/ancestral healings needed at all? Why are energetic transitions translated in our reality as pain ? I am writing this and the info seems to be flowing but it's still , frustrating. Thoughts ?


https://youtu.be/Te1VJmRfUkE


Choose to love those who tried to harm me, know I am protected. Surrender to the Creator, Surrender to myself.


Practice Love Every Day, no limits, no boundries, Always Expanding.


Namaste. 

Karma ?

Hey I think this is my first post but I'm curious. why do we have karma , it is my belief that we are all aspects of source/creator energy. Why do we have "learning" or clearing aspects with our souls. Especially with past and present lives. I have been really stuck on collective energy and our oneness as beings. I just am having a time grasping karma vs oneness. 

Like why are karmic/ancestral healings needed at all? Why are energetic transitions translated in our reality as pain ? I am writing this and the info seems to be flowing but it's still , frustrating. Thoughts ?

Choose

Today be happy today do what you want and feel good while doing it. 

Guardian angels: 

Galadriel : blue and green . Black hair , green blue eyes intense : masculine and masculinity lower left legs and right leg led to knee.

Rose: brown hair pinks aura : self love and other aspects left knee

Sandaphalon: brown reds, ruddy earth: manifestation and others. Root chakra out of body in waist area. Out of body.

I am an acolyte of micheal. I have protection down already. All the things archangel micheL can do, I can as well.

Ty 


I let go of my past lower life that I'm living now, and I put myself and my interests first everyday. I allow my divine higher self to embody me now.

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Update

So it's been a while (like 4 days and that's a while for me) how have I been ? 

Good bad great sad happy glad and moot. 

I've been well obviously there's a lot that can go down in 24 hours so I'll say this.

I was in the hospital. I survived
.
I survived what I was putting myself through.

And now I'm reading a book on sociopaths and their displayed behavior.

And I work later today.

Uhhhhhhhh very sensitive to the behav