Blessings: 3rd day

Its only the 3rd day of Reintegrating myself into the practice of Vipassana, and i have found myself writing a forgiveness letter.

i was going to give this to the intended parties but i don't feel the urge to. i just felt the need to write it. its a bit incomplete and i still have to reflect on it but
here it is:

Hello there

It’s been a lovely month and a half no? LOL J

Thank you for respecting my wishes to be solitary during his time.

Please if you can, I want you to just try and listen without forming a reaction to this immediately.

I’m not sure if you know it for sure now, but in the three years we have spoken I have known you to be kind, loving, supportive, compassionate, good human being; THAT is the true manifestation of who you are. You can truly be a safe space for people you love even if you haven’t experienced it on a regular basis from those who have said they love you.

Your value doesn’t just lie in what you can do in the world but it is inherent to the soul that already resides within you, it is intrinsic to who you really are.  l feel you just need to recognize yourself with compassionate eyes. Please continue to grow as a person as best as you can.

We aren’t to blame for what has happened to us when we were victimized, but we are wholly responsible for the choices we make afterwards. We are in control of how we process and frame our past and how we treat ourselves and others as a result of that perception, always.

We are all human, none of us are without blind spots. There are insecurities in all of us that affect our relationships, as we have seen in glorious form from myself, LOL, but really thank you for the time given that I have used to work on my thoughts and be as level headed as possible.

That said, I forgive myself for anyway in which we have hurt each other in our time together. I am also sorry for the ways which I may have hurt you through the blatant ignoring of your existence. I apologize for the pain it may have brought up and the pain it may have caused you.

I wish you acceptance and self-forgiveness of all parts of yourself in your journey of learning more deeply the art of self-love, and consequentially self-soothing. Thank you for the lessons you have taught me through our shared experience, which were acceptance, self-forgiveness, self-love and many many others. 

I hope this is enough

Sincerest A.B.